Guest Post: Open Adoption Takes Courage

[This post originally published by Harriet Fancott at See Theo Run on 2/22/13]

Open adoption is much more than a contract or a philosophy or an ideal. It’s an act of bravery and courage by all who enter.


It takes courage to:

  • to place your child in the hands of relative strangers for life.
  • to trust that parents have their child’s best interests at heart.
  • to experience and express your grief.
  • to share a life.
  • to reopen lines of communications when frayed.
  • to trust that you can have a foot in two families and be a whole, confident person.
  • to reach out when your arms are tired.
  • to say “This hurts.”
  • to bear witness to grief and pain and know that it’s not yours to bear.
  • to ask for what you want, accept the response, wait, and ask again.
  • to say “I need a break.”
  • to set boundaries when needed and relax them when they no longer serve a purpose.
  • to nurture relationships that are difficult or challenging.
  • to know you are loved, and accept that love.
  • to change, adapt and shift your perspective over time.
  • to put away your ego, set aside your feelings, and do what’s right for your children.

About the author:
Harriet Fancott is a mother in a tricultural adoptive family. She explores the intricacies of open adoption and just plain parenting on her blog at She makes a living as a communications specialist and writer.


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