The Open Adoption Roundtable is a series of occasional writing prompts about open adoption. It’s designed to showcase of the diversity of thought and experience in the open adoption community. You don’t need to be listed at Open Adoption Bloggers to participate or even be in a traditional open adoption. If you’re thinking about openness in adoption, you have a place at the table. The prompts are meant to be starting points–please feel free to adapt or expand on them.
Write a response at your blog–linking back here so your readers can browse other participating blogs–and share your post in the comments here. Using a previously published post is fine; I’d appreciate it if you’d add a link back to the roundtable. If you don’t blog, you can always leave your thoughts directly in the comments.
This roundtable prompt comes from a first mom in an open adoption who no longer blogs but wanted to hear what others had to say on the topic.
She was thinking about her reasons for placing her daughter and how she handles sharing (or not) that information with the people in her life. She realized that her daughter’s adoptive parents were often asked that same question by people (i.e. why she chose to place) and she wondered how they answered. This started her thinking about how others handle that choice of what to share and whom to share it with, especially when they are asked to speak on behalf of another party in their open adoptions.
It is likely that we’ve all had that experience at some time: someone asking us to speak to the choices or feelings of others in our adoption constellation. Perhaps it is someone asking a first parent how their child feels about being in an open adoption. Or someone asking an adoptee why their adoptive parents chose to adopt. You get the idea.
How do you handle such questions when they are asked of you? How would you want the other parties in your open adoption to handle those questions when they are about you?
Jenna (first mom) @ The Chronicles of Munchkin Land
Racilous (first mom) @ Adoption in the City
Archane (adoptive mom) @ The Spinning Goth
I Am (first dad) in comments
Geochick (adoptive mom) @ An Engineer Becomes a Mom
Robyn C (adoptive mom) @ The Chittister Children
Other Mother (first mom) @ Dear Sweetheart (auto-play music)
Dena (adoptive mom) @ Red Velvet Wisdom
Meg McK (adoptive mom) @ God Will Fill This Nest
Cindy (first mom) in comments
Cat (adoptive mom) @ Cat’s Litterbox
Lynn (adoptive mom) @ Open Hearts Open Minds
Alissabeth (adoptive mom) @ Not a Visitor
Susiebook (first mom) @ Endure for a Night
I Was Anne (adoptive mom) @ Tears of/and Joy
CB (adult adoptee) in comments
Danielle (first mom) @ Another Version of Mother