Open Adoption Roundtable #11: Holiday Season

The Open Adoption Roundtable is a series of occasional writing prompts about open adoption. It’s designed to showcase of the diversity of thought and experience in the open adoption community. You don’t need to be part of the Open Adoption Bloggers list to participate, or even be in a traditional open adoption. If you’re thinking about openness in adoption, you have a place at the table.

Publish your response during the next two weeks–linking back here so we can all find one other–and leave a link to your post in the comments. If you don’t blog, you can always leave your thoughts directly in the comments.

An open-ended prompt this round, because it’s always interesting to see where each of us takes it:

Write about open adoption and the holiday season.

Previously written posts work, too.


Adoptive mother Spyderkl at Evil Mommy contrasts an awkward first Christmas with her daughter and their extended families with a warm celebration with her daughter’s grandparents by birth.

Adoptive mother Jess at The Problem With Hope says that adding another family to the holiday mix creates some extra busy-ness, but also a lot of extra fun.

Adoptive mother Mama2Roo at Letters to a Birthmother says that the ritual of gift giving reflects the way open adoption enables her son’s first family to be a real presence in his life.

First mother Jenna at The Chronicles of Munchkin Land shares how the holidays and and her daughter’s birthday are forever intertwined, raising a swirl of emotions each December.

On the first anniversary of surrendering her son, first mother Susiebook at Endure for a Night reflects on how difficult the holiday seasons have been in an otherwise positive open adoption.

First mother Thanksgivingmom at I Should Really Be Working says adoption adds layers complexity and confusion to the holiday season.

Adoptive mother Andy from Today’s the Day! tells the story of her son picking out gifts for siblings who don’t know he exists.

Adoptive mother Robyn at the domestic adoption blog explores the tension in giving–or not giving–gifts when there are economic differences between adoptive and first families.

As she looks forward to a holiday visit with the teen she may adopt, Thorn at Mother Issues begins to think about how they can be working on openness with his family even now.

First mother Leah at O Momma Writes celebrates the holiday traditions she’s created with her daughter’s adoptive family over the last five years.

Adoptive mother Kris at My First Gray Hair considers the the possible meanings in the shifting contact with her daughter’s first mom.

First mother KatjaMichelle at Therapy Is Expensive imagines her son’s Christmas with his adoptive family, while aching over his missing spot in her own family’s traditions.

First mother Jenni at Confessions of a Mean Girl Turned Mommy faces her first Christmas in an open adoption, writing that it is like “dancing on a tightrope.”

First mother Valerie at From Another Mother wonders how to pick the perfect presents for her son and his adoptive parents.


19 thoughts on “Open Adoption Roundtable #11: Holiday Season

  1. I didn't write about the prompt (I'll be back in next time, those of you who know me are aware things have been busy in my neck of adoption-land) but I did write about why I didn't write about it! If that makes sense…

    anyways, that post is here.

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